Re: This is the select soccer experience??

by Laimport 4/12/2012, 8:14 am

After reading all these threads (mostly complaints) about teams, coaches, level of play, et. al...I have to laugh.

The team,coach and even the league/level are so far down the list it's laughable.

The only things that matter are passion and skill/tactical development. 80% of it is up to the player.

Competition at some point does matter. But it sure as hell isn't top of the list. Especially at U11-12.

Skill can't be taught per se anyway. Sure you can get skill training. But it's what you do on your own, away from training, that makes the difference.

Here's another little publicised fact. Top level defenders are almost always converted midfielders and forwards. So, playing on the backline at U11 is probably not conducive to maximizing a player'a chances of playing beyond youth/high school level.

There are exceptions. Some coaches actually do teach a passing/possession style. Therefore defenders do need to be good technically and tactically.

If not, buyer beware.

by Guest 4/12/2012, 9:08 am

Laimport wrote:After reading all these threads (mostly complaints) about teams, coaches, level of play, et. al...I have to laugh.

The team,coach and even the league/level are so far down the list it's laughable.

The only things that matter are passion and skill/tactical development. 80% of it is up to the player.

Competition at some point does matter. But it sure as hell isn't top of the list. Especially at U11-12.

Skill can't be taught per se anyway. Sure you can get skill training. But it's what you do on your own, away from training, that makes the difference.

Here's another little publicised fact. Top level defenders are almost always converted midfielders and forwards. So, playing on the backline at U11 is probably not conducive to maximizing a player'a chances of playing beyond youth/high school level.

There are exceptions. Some coaches actually do teach a passing/possession style. Therefore defenders do need to be good technically and tactically.

If not, buyer beware.

I think playing at recess with no coaches, parents or pressure is great for kids. Try moves,have fun and just be a kid with a ball cheers

by soccer23 4/12/2012, 10:01 am

Laimport wrote:After reading all these threads (mostly complaints) about teams, coaches, level of play, et. al...I have to laugh.

The team,coach and even the league/level are so far down the list it's laughable.

The only things that matter are passion and skill/tactical development. 80% of it is up to the player.

Competition at some point does matter. But it sure as hell isn't top of the list. Especially at U11-12.

Skill can't be taught per se anyway. Sure you can get skill training. But it's what you do on your own, away from training, that makes the difference.

Here's another little publicised fact. Top level defenders are almost always converted midfielders and forwards. So, playing on the backline at U11 is probably not conducive to maximizing a player'a chances of playing beyond youth/high school level.

There are exceptions. Some coaches actually do teach a passing/possession style. Therefore defenders do need to be good technically and tactically.

If not, buyer beware.

Seriously? That is what you think. Skills cannot be taught? It is all innate ability plus training at the house on your own as a 10-17 year old.?

Then what are we all doing? Why are we all paying $2000-$4000 per year to these guys to "teach" our kids soccer skills? scratch

I think maybe you might have overstated here just a bit. Almost all skills, soccer, mathematics, grammar, typing or knitting are taught in some way or another. Very few people simply know how to do algebra or program a computer or take a free kick from 25 yards out. I guess maybe your point is that someone can teach you the proper way to do a skill but if you do not go home and practice that skill on your own then you will not learn it. With that, I agree. Watching someone else do it and then performing the skill 5-10 times in a practice and then never really doing much with it after that is relatively useless. Skills are not tangible commodities that simply can be transferred from teacher to pupil--they must be acquired through training. But, I think, without a doubt, the teaching of skill is a necessary and integral part of learning the skill.

I also don't think that playing on the back line at U11 relegates you to soccer hell Evil or Very Mad

. It depends on what you are needed for at the time. Some coaches use their most talented players up top and want goals. Some coaches would prefer to use their talent in the back and have a strong defense. The most talented player on our team plays central defender most of the time. But he also plays some forward when his services are not needed in the back. Our coach would rather have a strong back line and score less goals. If we had a talented player come in to the team and he fit the central defender spot then maybe the other kid would move to forward full time. I don't know, but I certainly do not think that lesser players with lesser talent only play defender. Shoot, I have seen several teams with their least talented kids "hidden" in the outside midfield positions. U11 players don't pay much attention to those outside midfielders so some coaches stick kids there in the hopes that they won't hurt them.

I think that it is good for a player to be able to play in every position. Some can. Some can't. The more positions that you can play the further you are probably going to go in the sport. However, I think that it is an oversimplification to say that if you play defender at U11 you probably can't play beyond 18 years of age. Just my opinion.

by Guest 4/12/2012, 10:05 am

I would agree, ask a group of kids who plays forward and lots of hands shoot up, midfielders many less, defender even less, than ask who is a good defender and it gets awful small. But that coach will jump at the chance to have a top notch defender. Defenders do the dirty hard work of winning soccer games.

by bigtex75081 4/12/2012, 12:54 pm

soccerisgood123 wrote:I would agree, ask a group of kids who plays forward and lots of hands shoot up, midfielders many less, defender even less, than ask who is a good defender and it gets awful small. But that coach will jump at the chance to have a top notch defender. Defenders do the dirty hard work of winning soccer games.

Coaches are almost always looking for Defenders or Goalkeepers. If you want your son to have his pick of teams, have him focus on either of those two spots. Forwards and midfielders are a lot easier to find. Everybody wants to be a forward.

by Laimport 4/13/2012, 7:45 am

Guys I didn't mean to imply that defending wasn't important. I'm just saying that playing in the midfield or in some cases forward, is good for young players developmentally.

Experience playing all positions is ideal. There's a fine line between a central defender and a target forward. Many central defenders are converted forwards. And converted central midfielders.

My point on positions is that the majority of top level defenders at some point played more attacking roles. And I think personally that they are better prepared with that experience.

Ideally, a coach would teach every player to both attack and defend.

As for teaching skill, it can be demonstrated. American players generally don't put in the long hours of boring technical work in order to gain technical proficiency. Specifically, I'm talking about receiving/first touch.

And there's no way a kid can have an exceptional first touch just by training with his team 2 or 3 days a week. Even if he is lucky enough to have a coach that devotes 75% or more of the session to technical work.

In fact, I'd say a kid needs to put in more hours on his own per week than he spends with his team.

So, whether you're playing D1 classic or Plano D2, if you aren't putting in the technical work...it doesn't matter who your coach is or whether your team is relegated or promoted.

by Sweeper20 4/13/2012, 9:30 am

Don't pick anything except for not letting your bb play the same position every year until they reach an age where it makes sense. Agree with Laimport in speaking with many of the coaches who have developed talent over the years a large pecentage of the best backs that they coached within their respective youth sytems were forwards or attacking mids growing up.

The transition from defense to an offensve position is a big one, facing the field vs back to goal, having space to make passes vs being marked by 2-3 guys throughout the game, making runs without the ball, finishing ( hardest thing to do in soccer ), all necessary for development. If you are a good defender when you are young you will never come off the field, but honestly who cares about that? It should also work the other way around as well, many kids only "wake up" when they have the ball,they only play offense, don't challenge past midfield, are chronic overdribblers with head down and moving them to defense for a while would be doing them a favor so they can see and face the field and see things much better.

by Laimport 4/13/2012, 10:59 am

Sweeper you made the point better than I did. I think it's criminal for a kid to be pigeonholed into one position.

The more experience a player has (regarding positions)the more "complete" he will be as a player in the future.

It's important for players (and parents...although they are usually the last ones to 'get it') to take pride in being a more well rounded player. Winning balls, tackling, closing down space and especially a wide passing range are all just as important as 1v1 dribbling and finishing.

That seems to be the biggest flaw in our system. We fail to develop well rounded players because the coaches are more focused on team development rather than being player centric.

Winning aside...there IS a difference.

Parents need to ask themselves one important question...

Would you rather your son be trained to be the best player he can be? Or, would you rather him be a role player (or less) on a 'championship' team?

Sadly, most parents don't see or understand the difference. Because most take the latter option.

by Guest 4/13/2012, 11:05 am

Laimport wrote:Sweeper you made the point better than I did. I think it's criminal for a kid to be pigeonholed into one position.

The more experience a player has (regarding positions)the more "complete" he will be as a player in the future.

It's important for players (and parents...although they are usually the last ones to 'get it') to take pride in being a more well rounded player. Winning balls, tackling, closing down space and especially a wide passing range are all just as important as 1v1 dribbling and finishing.

That seems to be the biggest flaw in our system. We fail to develop well rounded players because the coaches are more focused on team development rather than being player centric.

Winning aside...there IS a difference.

Parents need to ask themselves one important question...

Would you rather your son be trained to be the best player he can be? Or, would you rather him be a role player (or less) on a 'championship' team?

Sadly, most parents don't see or understand the difference. Because most take the latter option.

Based on your other posts, you have been at this for awhile and know a lot about soccer, but I would disagree with your last sentence. I don't think it is sad if a parent decides it is better to have their kid play on a championship team for awhile, be a part of something special and then move on from soccer if they so choose.

I think parents need to be realistic about evaluating their kids. If a kid is a back of the bench player on a top team, odds are he is not going to one day turn into the star in a few years. In that case, he might as well be on the best team he can, have fun winning some trophies, and enjoy the experience. I don't see anything wrong with that.

If the kid was to play on a lower level team, focus only on his DEVELOPMENT for the future and lose all his games, not sure that would be great for his morale or overall experience. In the end I don't think there is one correct forumla and each person needs to read his own kid.

by Offside 4/13/2012, 12:40 pm

Running, you may be able to get away with sitting on the bench for a trophy at the academy level (u9-u10) but not so much at the select level unless coach needs your $$$ to scholarship other players.

by Guest 4/13/2012, 12:47 pm

Offside wrote:Running, you may be able to get away with sitting on the bench for a trophy at the academy level (u9-u10) but not so much at the select level unless coach needs your $$$ to scholarship other players.

I will defer to those with more experience and trust your opinion on that. That makes sense too. But I was primarily responding to Laimport on the issue of just being a role player. Sometimes, that is not so bad and can be a good experience. ( Look at Daryl "Moose" Johnston). A role player for the Cowboys but got three Rings and probably had a good time. Althought the neck issue may have been a little disturbing...

by imjustsayin 4/13/2012, 10:05 pm

Running wrote:
Offside wrote:Running, you may be able to get away with sitting on the bench for a trophy at the academy level (u9-u10) but not so much at the select level unless coach needs your $$$ to scholarship other players.

I will defer to those with more experience and trust your opinion on that. That makes sense too. But I was primarily responding to Laimport on the issue of just being a role player. Sometimes, that is not so bad and can be a good experience. ( Look at Daryl "Moose" Johnston). A role player for the Cowboys but got three Rings and probably had a good time. Althought the neck issue may have been a little disturbing...

But his Smiling Moose deli in Plano is quite good

by Laimport 4/16/2012, 8:05 am

I see a big difference in being a role player professionally vs youth level.

Youth soccer is (or should be) all about developing players.

Winning and development are not necessarily mutually exclusive either. Certainly didn't mean to imply that it was.

At some point, winning should be a byproduct of playing well. (As opposed to having bigger, faster and stronger players.) Which is usually the case due to the relative ages of the players.

by go99 4/16/2012, 8:25 am

Running wrote:
Laimport wrote:Sweeper you made the point better than I did. I think it's criminal for a kid to be pigeonholed into one position.

The more experience a player has (regarding positions)the more "complete" he will be as a player in the future.

It's important for players (and parents...although they are usually the last ones to 'get it') to take pride in being a more well rounded player. Winning balls, tackling, closing down space and especially a wide passing range are all just as important as 1v1 dribbling and finishing.

That seems to be the biggest flaw in our system. We fail to develop well rounded players because the coaches are more focused on team development rather than being player centric.

Winning aside...there IS a difference.

Parents need to ask themselves one important question...

Would you rather your son be trained to be the best player he can be? Or, would you rather him be a role player (or less) on a 'championship' team?

Sadly, most parents don't see or understand the difference. Because most take the latter option.

Based on your other posts, you have been at this for awhile and know a lot about soccer, but I would disagree with your last sentence. I don't think it is sad if a parent decides it is better to have their kid play on a championship team for awhile, be a part of something special and then move on from soccer if they so choose.

I think parents need to be realistic about evaluating their kids. If a kid is a back of the bench player on a top team, odds are he is not going to one day turn into the star in a few years. In that case, he might as well be on the best team he can, have fun winning some trophies, and enjoy the experience. I don't see anything wrong with that.

If the kid was to play on a lower level team, focus only on his DEVELOPMENT for the future and lose all his games, not sure that would be great for his morale or overall experience. In the end I don't think there is one correct forumla and each person needs to read his own kid.

OMG that may be the funniest but also saddest post I have seen in a long time.

WOW what have we progressed too? Show me a kid that is happy to sit his ass on the bench so others can win trophies for him and I will show you a loser. Part of something special? What part? Maybe they could pass out the water or put a skirt on and cheer or something. The kid should have the drive and desire to play and fight for an accomplishment that he can call his own. Development is not about pro or college. It's about working hard to master something that is easy to play but very difficult to master. Putting in the work and seeing the fruits of your labor. Learning to excel as an individiual in a team setting. Or I guess you could learn to just coast behind the efforts of others.

by toobookoo4you 4/16/2012, 9:08 am

go99 wrote:
Running wrote:
Laimport wrote:Sweeper you made the point better than I did. I think it's criminal for a kid to be pigeonholed into one position.

The more experience a player has (regarding positions)the more "complete" he will be as a player in the future.

It's important for players (and parents...although they are usually the last ones to 'get it') to take pride in being a more well rounded player. Winning balls, tackling, closing down space and especially a wide passing range are all just as important as 1v1 dribbling and finishing.

That seems to be the biggest flaw in our system. We fail to develop well rounded players because the coaches are more focused on team development rather than being player centric.

Winning aside...there IS a difference.

Parents need to ask themselves one important question...

Would you rather your son be trained to be the best player he can be? Or, would you rather him be a role player (or less) on a 'championship' team?

Sadly, most parents don't see or understand the difference. Because most take the latter option.

Based on your other posts, you have been at this for awhile and know a lot about soccer, but I would disagree with your last sentence. I don't think it is sad if a parent decides it is better to have their kid play on a championship team for awhile, be a part of something special and then move on from soccer if they so choose.

I think parents need to be realistic about evaluating their kids. If a kid is a back of the bench player on a top team, odds are he is not going to one day turn into the star in a few years. In that case, he might as well be on the best team he can, have fun winning some trophies, and enjoy the experience. I don't see anything wrong with that.

If the kid was to play on a lower level team, focus only on his DEVELOPMENT for the future and lose all his games, not sure that would be great for his morale or overall experience. In the end I don't think there is one correct forumla and each person needs to read his own kid.

OMG that may be the funniest but also saddest post I have seen in a long time.

WOW what have we progressed too? Show me a kid that is happy to sit his ass on the bench so others can win trophies for him and I will show you a loser. Part of something special? What part? Maybe they could pass out the water or put a skirt on and cheer or something. The kid should have the drive and desire to play and fight for an accomplishment that he can call his own. Development is not about pro or college. It's about working hard to master something that is easy to play but very difficult to master. Putting in the work and seeing the fruits of your labor. Learning to excel as an individiual in a team setting. Or I guess you could learn to just coast behind the efforts of others.

Wow! You all kinda' described the current U.S. welfare and food stamp system.
king

by Laimport 4/16/2012, 9:10 am

If nothing else, this explains why parents are willing to shell out 3 grand a year for select soccer...

by cowpukesfan 4/16/2012, 9:27 am

by Guest 4/16/2012, 9:38 am

go99 wrote:
Running wrote:
Laimport wrote:Sweeper you made the point better than I did. I think it's criminal for a kid to be pigeonholed into one position.

The more experience a player has (regarding positions)the more "complete" he will be as a player in the future.

It's important for players (and parents...although they are usually the last ones to 'get it') to take pride in being a more well rounded player. Winning balls, tackling, closing down space and especially a wide passing range are all just as important as 1v1 dribbling and finishing.

That seems to be the biggest flaw in our system. We fail to develop well rounded players because the coaches are more focused on team development rather than being player centric.

Winning aside...there IS a difference.

Parents need to ask themselves one important question...

Would you rather your son be trained to be the best player he can be? Or, would you rather him be a role player (or less) on a 'championship' team?

Sadly, most parents don't see or understand the difference. Because most take the latter option.

Based on your other posts, you have been at this for awhile and know a lot about soccer, but I would disagree with your last sentence. I don't think it is sad if a parent decides it is better to have their kid play on a championship team for awhile, be a part of something special and then move on from soccer if they so choose.

I think parents need to be realistic about evaluating their kids. If a kid is a back of the bench player on a top team, odds are he is not going to one day turn into the star in a few years. In that case, he might as well be on the best team he can, have fun winning some trophies, and enjoy the experience. I don't see anything wrong with that.

If the kid was to play on a lower level team, focus only on his DEVELOPMENT for the future and lose all his games, not sure that would be great for his morale or overall experience. In the end I don't think there is one correct forumla and each person needs to read his own kid.

OMG that may be the funniest but also saddest post I have seen in a long time.

WOW what have we progressed too? Show me a kid that is happy to sit his ass on the bench so others can win trophies for him and I will show you a loser. Part of something special? What part? Maybe they could pass out the water or put a skirt on and cheer or something. The kid should have the drive and desire to play and fight for an accomplishment that he can call his own. Development is not about pro or college. It's about working hard to master something that is easy to play but very difficult to master. Putting in the work and seeing the fruits of your labor. Learning to excel as an individiual in a team setting. Or I guess you could learn to just coast behind the efforts of others.

I thought only teenage girls used "OMG", but, I assume you are an adult and have a son that plays soccer. As you are aware, on a team of 15-16 players everyone does not start and everyone does not play the same amount of time. Maybe your kid still plays in REC with the equal playing time rule, but it does not work that way in select. As such, there are kids that are #14, #15 and #16 on the roster. CONGRATULATIONS, you just called out all these kids as LOSERS, for wanting to be a part of a winning team and you have diminished their contributions to their teams. Sounds like a great philosophy for team sports. Hey, you guys that bust your butts at practice but don't play very much, you are all LOSERS and glorified CHEERLEADERS. Thanks for being on our team.

I am sure your kid starts and is a STAR of his team, but there are other kids that work hard in practice, play when they can and still like being on a top team. No reason to insult these kids. Crying or Very sad

by Guest 4/16/2012, 9:57 am

Running wrote:
go99 wrote:
Running wrote:
Laimport wrote:Sweeper you made the point better than I did. I think it's criminal for a kid to be pigeonholed into one position.

The more experience a player has (regarding positions)the more "complete" he will be as a player in the future.

It's important for players (and parents...although they are usually the last ones to 'get it') to take pride in being a more well rounded player. Winning balls, tackling, closing down space and especially a wide passing range are all just as important as 1v1 dribbling and finishing.

That seems to be the biggest flaw in our system. We fail to develop well rounded players because the coaches are more focused on team development rather than being player centric.

Winning aside...there IS a difference.

Parents need to ask themselves one important question...

Would you rather your son be trained to be the best player he can be? Or, would you rather him be a role player (or less) on a 'championship' team?

Sadly, most parents don't see or understand the difference. Because most take the latter option.

Based on your other posts, you have been at this for awhile and know a lot about soccer, but I would disagree with your last sentence. I don't think it is sad if a parent decides it is better to have their kid play on a championship team for awhile, be a part of something special and then move on from soccer if they so choose.

I think parents need to be realistic about evaluating their kids. If a kid is a back of the bench player on a top team, odds are he is not going to one day turn into the star in a few years. In that case, he might as well be on the best team he can, have fun winning some trophies, and enjoy the experience. I don't see anything wrong with that.

If the kid was to play on a lower level team, focus only on his DEVELOPMENT for the future and lose all his games, not sure that would be great for his morale or overall experience. In the end I don't think there is one correct forumla and each person needs to read his own kid.

OMG that may be the funniest but also saddest post I have seen in a long time.

WOW what have we progressed too? Show me a kid that is happy to sit his ass on the bench so others can win trophies for him and I will show you a loser. Part of something special? What part? Maybe they could pass out the water or put a skirt on and cheer or something. The kid should have the drive and desire to play and fight for an accomplishment that he can call his own. Development is not about pro or college. It's about working hard to master something that is easy to play but very difficult to master. Putting in the work and seeing the fruits of your labor. Learning to excel as an individiual in a team setting. Or I guess you could learn to just coast behind the efforts of others.

I thought only teenage girls used "OMG", but, I assume you are an adult and have a son that plays soccer. As you are aware, on a team of 15-16 players everyone does not start and everyone does not play the same amount of time. Maybe your kid still plays in REC with the equal playing time rule, but it does not work that way in select. As such, there are kids that are #14, #15 and #16 on the roster. CONGRATULATIONS, you just called out all these kids as LOSERS, for wanting to be a part of a winning team and you have diminished their contributions to their teams. Sounds like a great philosophy for team sports. Hey, you guys that bust your butts at practice but don't play very much, you are all LOSERS and glorified CHEERLEADERS. Thanks for being on our team.

I am sure your kid starts and is a STAR of his team, but there are other kids that work hard in practice, play when they can and still like being on a top team. No reason to insult these kids.

How many goals did your son score from the bench? How many crosses? How many crucial tackles? .... None. We will see what your attitude us when the coach says " we will only play the starting 11 until we make d1 or d2 or whatever.

by Guest 4/16/2012, 10:02 am

soccerisgood123 wrote:
Running wrote:
go99 wrote:
Running wrote:
Laimport wrote:Sweeper you made the point better than I did. I think it's criminal for a kid to be pigeonholed into one position.

The more experience a player has (regarding positions)the more "complete" he will be as a player in the future.

It's important for players (and parents...although they are usually the last ones to 'get it') to take pride in being a more well rounded player. Winning balls, tackling, closing down space and especially a wide passing range are all just as important as 1v1 dribbling and finishing.

That seems to be the biggest flaw in our system. We fail to develop well rounded players because the coaches are more focused on team development rather than being player centric.

Winning aside...there IS a difference.

Parents need to ask themselves one important question...

Would you rather your son be trained to be the best player he can be? Or, would you rather him be a role player (or less) on a 'championship' team?

Sadly, most parents don't see or understand the difference. Because most take the latter option.

Based on your other posts, you have been at this for awhile and know a lot about soccer, but I would disagree with your last sentence. I don't think it is sad if a parent decides it is better to have their kid play on a championship team for awhile, be a part of something special and then move on from soccer if they so choose.

I think parents need to be realistic about evaluating their kids. If a kid is a back of the bench player on a top team, odds are he is not going to one day turn into the star in a few years. In that case, he might as well be on the best team he can, have fun winning some trophies, and enjoy the experience. I don't see anything wrong with that.

If the kid was to play on a lower level team, focus only on his DEVELOPMENT for the future and lose all his games, not sure that would be great for his morale or overall experience. In the end I don't think there is one correct forumla and each person needs to read his own kid.

OMG that may be the funniest but also saddest post I have seen in a long time.

WOW what have we progressed too? Show me a kid that is happy to sit his ass on the bench so others can win trophies for him and I will show you a loser. Part of something special? What part? Maybe they could pass out the water or put a skirt on and cheer or something. The kid should have the drive and desire to play and fight for an accomplishment that he can call his own. Development is not about pro or college. It's about working hard to master something that is easy to play but very difficult to master. Putting in the work and seeing the fruits of your labor. Learning to excel as an individiual in a team setting. Or I guess you could learn to just coast behind the efforts of others.

I thought only teenage girls used "OMG", but, I assume you are an adult and have a son that plays soccer. As you are aware, on a team of 15-16 players everyone does not start and everyone does not play the same amount of time. Maybe your kid still plays in REC with the equal playing time rule, but it does not work that way in select. As such, there are kids that are #14, #15 and #16 on the roster. CONGRATULATIONS, you just called out all these kids as LOSERS, for wanting to be a part of a winning team and you have diminished their contributions to their teams. Sounds like a great philosophy for team sports. Hey, you guys that bust your butts at practice but don't play very much, you are all LOSERS and glorified CHEERLEADERS. Thanks for being on our team.

I am sure your kid starts and is a STAR of his team, but there are other kids that work hard in practice, play when they can and still like being on a top team. No reason to insult these kids.

How many goals did your son score from the bench? How many crosses? How many crucial tackles? .... None. We will see what your attitude us when the coach says " we will only play the starting 11 until we make d1 or d2 or whatever.

Not many. But I guess then the argument is that no team should have more than 11 players because those kids are just waisting time and coasting on others. Not much of a team philosophy. What about the contributions at practice, in games at times and being a part of the team? These are all good things.

by jimulon6 4/16/2012, 10:18 am

While Running makes some great points, this subject is subjective, and based on the bb in specific terms.

Without subs and their money, teams cannot survive. We lost a few during spring season, and finished with 13, and when one or 2 of those are sick or playing another sport, it makes a huge impact during the season, especially as they get older. It hurt our team down the stretch.

However, my bb is driven, to a certain extent, to compete and do well. I want him to learn about life through competition.

I'm not teaching him to settle. He's pretty good, but, even if he were #14 or 15 on the team, I would never tell him that is good enough. Even if he were truly the 14 th best, I would encourage him in my ever so soft way Very Happy

, to strive and work towards #2 or 3. Never be ok with average. As long as showed the effort I would support him.

It's less about soccer and more about life.

I don't disagree with either side of this argument. Really just depends on the kid, what he wants out of life, and to a good extent, the parent/s behind him, and the values they are teaching.

by go99 4/16/2012, 10:24 am

OMG, seriously, you must be so old.

Not everybody starts and thats not the issue. Being happy sitting on the bench is and prefering that to actually playing and making a difference is. When you are happy to sit and benefit thru the efforts of others rather than being somplace that maybe doesn't win as much but is a place that "you" can actually do something. And no this past year was the first time he didn't start and had to fight his way onto the field.

by jimulon6 4/16/2012, 10:24 am

Clearly Running has his/her ego in check. Something I struggle with when it comes to sports and my son.

Maybe the rest of us are doing it wrong. Who knows.

Peoples values and ways of raising their kids differ.

Thought it took balls to raise this subject on this board, Running, so hats off to you.

You had to know what was coming!

by Guest 4/16/2012, 10:35 am

Keep writing those checks subs, the clubs love you. Meanwhile your son keeps getting older, playing less and become less interested . Kids want to play not endless practice for 5 minutes of playing time championship team? Lmao, you watched other kids produce that championship while your kid got the coach a drink of water.....

by Guest 4/16/2012, 11:03 am

jimulon6 wrote:Clearly Running has his/her ego in check. Something I struggle with when it comes to sports and my son.

Maybe the rest of us are doing it wrong. Who knows.

Peoples values and ways of raising their kids differ.

Thought it took balls to raise this subject on this board, Running, so hats off to you.

You had to know what was coming!

Thanks, and you are right, knew it would cause some issues. After reading go99's response, maybe we are not so far apart on this issue. I never said a player should sit the bench and be complacent and not try to get better and challenge himself everyday in practice. But, the reality is that someone has to come off the bench and not everyone starts. Some kids play more than others in copmetitive sports. Each parent needs to honstly evaluate his or her own kid and if your kid is OK playing less, working hard, contributing by working in practice, playing some (someone above said there are no bench warmers in select by the way) and being a part of the team, I see no problem with that. They are learning life skills about being a part of the team, working hard and being realistic.

The problem with some of the attitudes seen in this thread is that it leads to the parent that yells at the coach and is always emailing about her son better start and play more. They cannot accept the value in the kid that comes off the bench and plays less than the starters. Sad perspective if you ask me.

by Guest 4/16/2012, 11:05 am

soccerisgood123 wrote:Keep writing those checks subs, the clubs love you. Meanwhile your son keeps getting older, playing less and become less interested . Kids want to play not endless practice for 5 minutes of playing time championship team? Lmao, you watched other kids produce that championship while your kid got the coach a drink of water.....

Wow, that is a great phrase and you should share it with the subs on your sons team at the next practice. Tell his parents to "keep writing those checks" and their kid is a water boy. As I said, you learn life lessons everywhere, some are about people in general.

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