Don't sign up if you don't want to do the job!!

So…I rarely post on this site. I use this site for information only and don't really see the need to express my opinion to others as it is, after all, my opinion. But, I feel that I need to say something in light of some news that I heard about yesterday.(If this has been discussed already, I apologize in advance.)

I think that all would agree that the Dallas Cup is a BIG deal. The media coverage, the diversity, the tradition…it truly is AWESOME!

One of the biggest parts, and a HUGE reason why Dallas Cup can draw in so many International teams and referees, is the HomeStay program. For those of you who have taken part in HomeStay as a local team, you know what I am talking about. For those who don't know, if you ever get a chance to do it, JUMP ON IT!! It is a life-changing experience for your player, the international player(s) as well as yourself. On a side note, your bb does not have to be on a team playing in Dallas Cup to get involved. You can host referees or just sign-up as a volunteer for whatever shifts need help.

BUT…do not take it on half-heartedly. If you cannot jump all in, every day, then it is definitely not for you and you will never fully know what a blessing it actually is.

Here is what I learned yesterday and YES, I am 100% completely pissed, outraged and appalled!

My son is only 15. My son's team hosted a U17 team from Japan. The Japanese group brought over a total of 3 teams: U15, U17 & U19. Each team was assigned 2 drivers to drive them around to their events using the vans that the teams had rented. These drivers do not work for Dallas Cup. They are with an independent company in America that works alongside foreign teams to get all logistics squared away so that they can come and be a part of Dallas Cup. I was in constant/daily contact with the main driver (we will call him "H") for the U17 squad, so I got to know him fairly well.

On Sunday, Easter morning, around 11:00am, H received a phone call that there were (2) U15 Japanese boys sitting in the lobby of their Coach's hotel and they had been there since around 8:00am. Since all of the U17 boys were with their host families, H did not have a busy schedule that day. He was, however, going to watch the Finals at Toyota Stadium. At the time of the phone call, the hosting team for the players was not known. H had no way of getting in contact with either the hosting family or the Manager of the hosting team. He placed a call into Communications for Dallas Cup to try and get some answers and then began to rearrange his day to include these (2) 14-15 year olds. He even paid for their lunch and dinner out of his own pocket. Luckily, H has some pull and was able to get them into a suite at Toyota Stadium to watch the finals so that they were not sitting in the rain and cold since they were not prepared to do that. (I found out about the situation after traveling an hour away with our two Japanese players. If I had known, I would have scooped them up and taken them with me.)

After more information came to light as to the hosting team and the name of the hosting family, excuses started flying from the mouth of the hosting person who dumped these boys.

SHAME ON YOU!!! OWN UP TO WHAT YOU DID! There is no way that you did not understand that you were to keep these boys on Easter Sunday. (I don't know about anyone else, but if one of those boys had been my son, I would be sitting in the Dallas Jail, and your family would either be at the hospital with you or planning your funeral!)

Absolutely pathetic!

BUT…that's not all the news I encountered…apparently a female referee had also come over from Japan and had a horrible experience. Now…if you are an international referee coming to ref in the Dallas Cup, more than likely you are pretty darn good!!! I pray that the story below does not keep her from returning. Dallas Cup needs the best referees every year.

Monday morning, April 6th, after all was said and done, H found out the the female referee from Japan, who had been assigned to a host family, LITERALLY sat in the room offered to her at the host family house while she was physically in the house. The host would drive her back-and-forth to the Crowne Plaza Hotel so that she could be shuttled to her fields in order to ref her games, but they did NOTHING with her. NOT A DINNER, NOT A TOURISTY THING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! And, to make the situation worse, that family had other family members coming to their home on Easter weekend. They did not include her in their activities. INSTEAD, they packed her up, took her to the Crowne Plaza, paid for 2 nights and dumped her there.

I hope I NEVER find out who did this!! It is COMPLETELY disgusting!

If you are reading this and it was you…you are COMPLETELY disgusting!!!

If I were able to cast bad spells on people and have them come true, these 2 "hosts" would be the first to feel the wrath.

AGAIN…if you decide to take on this wonderful opportunity, do not take it on half-heartedly! You would not want to be treated this way nor have your child treated this way.

NOW…I know that the 2 horror stories above are not the first time something like this has happened, nor will it be the last. They probably aren't even the only 2 from this past week. But maybe if people discuss this openly and relay the level of commitment that is expected, we can create a system that is loving and accepting of all cultures where every person from every country thoroughly enjoys this unique and wonderful experience. Where they ALL return home and immediately begin to plan their next trip to Dallas Cup.

Or, like me, begin planning a vacation to Japan to meet up with the 2 AWESOME boys who were my "sons" for 10 days so that I can meet their families and learn more about their culture. I will never forget them!

i have no dog in this fight just some opinions. many people did NOT sign up for anything they were forced to do it. Forced to rearrange schedules, easter and pay out of pocket. forced, not volunteered. every one of these teams should pay for a hotel and be responsible for themselves. what happened was bad i agree but in the real world, its just a kids soccer tournament.....

All local teams know that there is the possibility that you have to host. DC is always Palm Sunday to Easter Sunday…ALWAYS. Don't want to host, don't play in the tournament. Every team has that choice.

Why would a host family comply for roughly 9-10 days and then dump (2) 14-15 year olds who do not speak the language for the last day? And then make up BS excuses? Why not ask another teammate to take them for the day? Why not ask the team Manager to take them for the day? Why not try and find out something before dumping them off?

From my understanding, hosting referees is a voluntary basis. If I am wrong on this, then someone can correct me.

But, you are right, "Guest", what happened was bad. And unacceptable.

Just about anyone would have offered up their time and services to replace these "hosts."

If I had known sooner, I would have!

Amen and well-said Dee47!  Homestaying players is part of the commitment and overall experience that comes with the privilege of playing in the Dallas Cup. We have had amazing experiences keeping players over the years and in fact I watched as a former homestay player won this year - couldn't have been more proud than if it was my own son!  As a 10 year volunteer/committee chair for the tournament I became aware of the situation regarding the two teenage boys on Easter Sunday and it made me sick - this is not indicative of the majority of homestay families.  In my opinion that team/family should never be allowed to homestay and/or participate in DC again.  And yes, homestaying referees is purely voluntary. However, alot of families who have homestayed players over the years enjoyed the experience so much they now homestay referees! It gets in your blood and you can't get it out!

On a sidenote, as a 10 year volunteer/committee chairperson for DC I would add - do not sign up to volunteer in ANY capacity if you do not intend to fulfill the commitment.  This year the number of volunteer no-shows was extremely high and left many areas in a bind during critical events during the tournament.  We are human and understand situations/emergencies come up but a simple phone call or email notifying someone you won't make it is the right thing to do.  And for those who didn't bother to show up or call, please do not sign-up to volunteer again next year - only committed volunteers need apply.

My questions is: where were the coaches of the Japanese players? How it comes that two 15 years old are not able to contact their coaches and tell them what is going on? Is there an emergency number for the foreign players to call if something happens?

If I'm reading Guest's post correctly, they are saying that nobody volunteered but the hosting families were forced to host teams and referees and forced to pay for everything. Wow! Yes, that is your opinion and it's completely wrong!

The only thing "forced" that I'm aware of is that each FCD team had to produce a certain number of volunteers. A lot of teams didn't meet their quota but there was no punishment for it...at least none that I'm aware of.

Socmom3, you are correct that if you are going to volunteer, then follow through. However, nothing I received gave me a way of calling or emailing to let somebody know that I was late, lost or not showing up.

I would like to add that volunteers should have some pride in what they are doing and make everybody feel welcome. I volunteered for a couple of events and had a great time. I got to meet some fascinating people and enjoy some great soccer games. I did meet some volunteers that were there in body alone and just "did their time". It's sad they couldn't recognize the significance of this event.

Glad you had a great experience volunteering this year and hope you will again in the coming years! We need committed volunteers who enjoy the experience and take pride in helping out! You can always call the Dallas Cup offices with questions or let us know you can't make it.

Dee47 wrote:So…I rarely post on this site. I use this site for information only and don't really see the need to express my opinion to others as it is, after all, my opinion. But, I feel that I need to say something in light of some news that I heard about yesterday.(If this has been discussed already, I apologize in advance.)

I think that all would agree that the Dallas Cup is a BIG deal. The media coverage, the diversity, the tradition…it truly is AWESOME!

One of the biggest parts, and a HUGE reason why Dallas Cup can draw in so many International teams and referees, is the HomeStay program. For those of you who have taken part in HomeStay as a local team, you know what I am talking about. For those who don't know, if you ever get a chance to do it, JUMP ON IT!! It is a life-changing experience for your player, the international player(s) as well as yourself. On a side note, your bb does not have to be on a team playing in Dallas Cup to get involved. You can host referees or just sign-up as a volunteer for whatever shifts need help.

BUT…do not take it on half-heartedly. If you cannot jump all in, every day, then it is definitely not for you and you will never fully know what a blessing it actually is.

Here is what I learned yesterday and YES, I am 100% completely pissed, outraged and appalled!

My son is only 15. My son's team hosted a U17 team from Japan. The Japanese group brought over a total of 3 teams: U15, U17 & U19. Each team was assigned 2 drivers to drive them around to their events using the vans that the teams had rented. These drivers do not work for Dallas Cup. They are with an independent company in America that works alongside foreign teams to get all logistics squared away so that they can come and be a part of Dallas Cup. I was in constant/daily contact with the main driver (we will call him "H") for the U17 squad, so I got to know him fairly well.

On Sunday, Easter morning, around 11:00am, H received a phone call that there were (2) U15 Japanese boys sitting in the lobby of their Coach's hotel and they had been there since around 8:00am. Since all of the U17 boys were with their host families, H did not have a busy schedule that day. He was, however, going to watch the Finals at Toyota Stadium. At the time of the phone call, the hosting team for the players was not known. H had no way of getting in contact with either the hosting family or the Manager of the hosting team. He placed a call into Communications for Dallas Cup to try and get some answers and then began to rearrange his day to include these (2) 14-15 year olds. He even paid for their lunch and dinner out of his own pocket. Luckily, H has some pull and was able to get them into a suite at Toyota Stadium to watch the finals so that they were not sitting in the rain and cold since they were not prepared to do that. (I found out about the situation after traveling an hour away with our two Japanese players. If I had known, I would have scooped them up and taken them with me.)

After more information came to light as to the hosting team and the name of the hosting family, excuses started flying from the mouth of the hosting person who dumped these boys.

SHAME ON YOU!!! OWN UP TO WHAT YOU DID! There is no way that you did not understand that you were to keep these boys on Easter Sunday. (I don't know about anyone else, but if one of those boys had been my son, I would be sitting in the Dallas Jail, and your family would either be at the hospital with you or planning your funeral!)

Absolutely pathetic!

BUT…that's not all the news I encountered…apparently a female referee had also come over from Japan and had a horrible experience. Now…if you are an international referee coming to ref in the Dallas Cup, more than likely you are pretty darn good!!! I pray that the story below does not keep her from returning. Dallas Cup needs the best referees every year.

Monday morning, April 6th, after all was said and done, H found out the the female referee from Japan, who had been assigned to a host family, LITERALLY sat in the room offered to her at the host family house while she was physically in the house. The host would drive her back-and-forth to the Crowne Plaza Hotel so that she could be shuttled to her fields in order to ref her games, but they did NOTHING with her. NOT A DINNER, NOT A TOURISTY THING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! And, to make the situation worse, that family had other family members coming to their home on Easter weekend. They did not include her in their activities. INSTEAD, they packed her up, took her to the Crowne Plaza, paid for 2 nights and dumped her there.

I hope I NEVER find out who did this!! It is COMPLETELY disgusting!

If you are reading this and it was you…you are COMPLETELY disgusting!!!

If I were able to cast bad spells on people and have them come true, these 2 "hosts" would be the first to feel the wrath.

AGAIN…if you decide to take on this wonderful opportunity, do not take it on half-heartedly! You would not want to be treated this way nor have your child treated this way.

NOW…I know that the 2 horror stories above are not the first time something like this has happened, nor will it be the last. They probably aren't even the only 2 from this past week. But maybe if people discuss this openly and relay the level of commitment that is expected, we can create a system that is loving and accepting of all cultures where every person from every country thoroughly enjoys this unique and wonderful experience. Where they ALL return home and immediately begin to plan their next trip to Dallas Cup.

Or, like me, begin planning a vacation to Japan to meet up with the 2 AWESOME boys who were my "sons" for 10 days so that I can meet their families and learn more about their culture. I will never forget them!

sounds like a lot of hear say. the ref's at our games seemed to make the same mistakes our local ref's do. i could share a horror story about a team that we hosted but i'm sure that would be the exception and not the rule. overall i believe it was a great experience and i will choose to do it again. as far as the "commitment" any home stay parents had, keeping the kids all day of any day, including Easter Sunday, was not part of it. hope the ref can take some positives from the experience home with her.

socmom3 wrote:This year the number of volunteer no-shows was extremely high and left many areas in a bind during critical events during the tournament.  

With all of the money made by DC, you rely on volunteers "during critical events"?

RunningWithScissors wrote:

socmom3 wrote:This year the number of volunteer no-shows was extremely high and left many areas in a bind during critical events during the tournament.  

With all of the money made by DC, you rely on volunteers "during critical events"?

I totally agree with RunningWithScissors. And I am sure there was a fine to pay if a team did not fulfill their allocated "volunteering" time.
Volunteering did make sense when the tournament started, 35 years ago, with many less teams partecipating. Now that the Dallas Cup is run by a for profit MSL club, they should not ask FC Dallas teams to "volunteer".
Dallas itself is not the same as 35 years ago. Driving around can be a mess, it may take hours to go from place to place. So volunteering for two hours may mean 4 hours or more of personal time (or work time) if you live far from the events.
Also a lot of the foreign teams can afford to pay for a hotel. As an example, the U15 and U17 Eintracht Frankfurt teams came here with coaches, trainers and a journalist that would write a report everyday, post on facebook and on twitter updating the families in Germany about what was happening here! The Eintracht Frankfurt youth teams are fully sponsored, our teams are sponsored by mom and dad. Our teams only have one coach who we pay, no additional trainers, no journalists taking pictures of the kids and writing nice articles. But we are asked to volunteer our time. Don't you see how pathetic this is? After all the money we pay, we also have to "volunteer"!
In other countries, kids do not pay any fees to play soccer! Some teams have been coming for years, although they are non competitive teams, they get to spend 10 days in the US for free, only paying for the airfare. Pretty good deal for them!
Do Dallas kids get to visit some of these teams? I only heard of personal trips, again on mom and dad money. But no soccer experiences for the Dallas teams in another country hosted by the teams that were hosted here. Dallas kids when they travel to compete abroad, they again have to pay for everything!

Laroja_2012 wrote:

RunningWithScissors wrote:

socmom3 wrote:This year the number of volunteer no-shows was extremely high and left many areas in a bind during critical events during the tournament.  

With all of the money made by DC, you rely on volunteers "during critical events"?

I totally agree with RunningWithScissors...
Volunteering did make sense when the tournament started, 35 years ago, with many less teams partecipating. Now that the Dallas Cup is run by a for profit MSL club, they should not ask FC Dallas teams to "volunteer".

DC calls itself, "the most prestigious youth soccer tournament in the United States and it is widely regarded as one of the most competitive in the world."

The teams will still attend DC, even if they have to pay for their own hotels. Open up the checkbook and pay people to run the "critical events". That is, if they are truly "critical" and if you care about anything other than $.

Socmom3 - THANK YOU! My husband and I have already discussed that if there is a year where our son's team does not qualify, we WILL be signing up to host referees.

Not only was I sick to my stomach hearing about those 2 stories, but then I got SOOO ANGRY!! I was already emotional because of my 2 new "sons" leaving but then I had angry tears flowing down my face. I just kept imagining them (the players and the female referee) sitting there and staring at the walls and wondering what to do in a foreign country. My heart just ached!

I am also sad to hear that there were not enough volunteers to outfit the needs of the tournament. Frankly, I am embarrassed as that club is who we are with. Thank you to everyone who stepped up to cover those abandoned positions! You put in EXTRA time and effort while some did not even do the minimum. KUDOS!!

Maybe you could suggest to the DC committee the info given by 04Soccerdad? Maybe in the confirmation emails that volunteers receive when they sign up to volunteer a number could be provided in case of emergencies or tardies or being absent for whatever reason? I know that you stated to call the Dallas Cup office, but not everyone has that number. Not everyone knows how to use the internet to obtain information. Some would have no idea where to even begin to pull that info from. Just my opinion!

Laroja_2012 - If I had not been in the middle of the situation I would have had the exact same questions. But since I was in the middle of that large group I have a few pieces of insight that I would like to share. Long-story short…no, the players did not have a way to contact their coaches unless it was through Instagram or Twitter and only if they had access to WiFi. All within the delegation had been instructed to keep their phones on Airplane Mode, including the coaches, during their stay. There was only 1 within the delegation who had access to a phone with an international plan so that he could communicate with the drivers. He, along with the coaches, were already at Toyota Stadium to watch the finals when the incident was brought to light. The Japanese are a very respectful and proud nation. They expect the same from everyone else and had no reason to think that there would ever be a situation where their players were abandoned. (However, that is the same with every team that is selected to do HomeStay. The coaches are trusting the parents here in the US to take care of their players no matter what.) Because of the particular day, basically, all personnel were given the day "off" since ALL 60+ players within the delegation were to be with their hosting families. This included the drivers. The parent who dumped the boys did not let the Manager/Coordinator know what he/she had done either. When H found out about the situation, he tried to contact the drivers for that team, but was unsuccessful. That is why H took the players for the day. Eventually, the coaches found out, the Manager/Coordinator found out and the parent who did this would not look H in the eye. They knew they were in the wrong!

Also, there are other international tournaments that will host US teams. We were invited to one in Guatemala but chose not to go since it was during the school year.

04Soccerdad - I wish I had the opportunity to have met you in person! Thank you for stepping up and wanting to be a part of this tremendous experience! I hope to get to volunteer alongside you in the future.

Regarding the questions from some who are wanting to know why the international teams don't get their own hotels…they are in the same boat as the local teams. They do not know if there will be enough local teams to host. There is the possibility that they will have to pay for a hotel if there are not enough to host and if they are not chosen. It all depends on how many local teams qualify. But, as a hosting family, I can guarantee that I do not spend $1600 for the week hosting the players. That is around how much our boys had to pay for their airplane ticket just to get here and back. Maybe their delegations help out some, but I know if our team did do an international tournament, some of our players would not be able to go strictly because of the cost of flying. I respect any team who travels internationally to play in a tournament and will gladly offer up any resource I can. I don't gripe about it!

Let's not forget that it is TRADITION to offer the HomeStay program. DC may in fact be the only tournament to do it. But, that is what it is…tradition. Don't like it, don't participate.

Soccerdadrandy - not hear say…

And lastly, "Guest" - if Dallas Cup is "just a kids soccer tournament…" then there should be no tears shed when you decide to pull out of registering to play. That is if you qualify! Make sure to register for your local tournament during the week of DC. I am sure that the enrichment you receive will be very rewarding.

Laroja - Frankfurt has a long history of coming to DC, usually with 2 teams. The U19 that usually comes is completely funded by the club as a "graduation gift" for DC. However the U15 has to provide for their flights unless they find a sponsor to help. 5 years ago when they won they had a sponsor that paid for 6 plane tickets. One of the reasons they are coming here is that the Academy Director loves the idea of the homestay program. Also Hoffenheim loved it and will return next year because of that. You take the homestay program away and you will make it just "another" international tournament that lost a main attraction.

our kids from england had a great time. There were tears from 19yr old when they left. Yes it was a hastle but a good experince for not only the kids but the hosting families. It was voluntary and even if you say "you were forced" you still have someones KID. This is not a principle, not making a statement, protest, etc. You are taking care of someone child who has nothing to do with all of the decisions made. You should treat that child how you would want yours to be treated.

When you do something like this you are not a justified victim you are just an a$$hole who took your problems out on a child period.

Hopefully those kids understand that MOST people in texas are generally good people regardless of their experience

As for the company dealing with the Japanese teams. If there is an issue with hosting or even language I know we can find enough Japanese famalies here willing to host and help out.

Dee47,
I had the pleasure to volunteer for the Dallas Cup and loved it!! I am already prepping my son's team about volunteering for the next one. But I am extremely interested on how one goes about being a host players. My son's team won't be eligible to play in the Dallas Cup but would LOVE to have other soccer players stay at the house. We also might have other families from the team that would be interest as well.