Tab Ramos: Keep the parents at bay... (sound familiar?)

Interesting reading....

Friday, March 4, 2011

Tab Ramos: Keep the parents at bay


Interview by Mike Woitalla

Tab Ramos, considered one of the USA's most skillful players ever, played for the USA at three World Cups, two Copa Americas, and in the Olympic Games. Two years after retiring in 2002 from a playing career in Spain, Mexico and MLS, he founded the New Jersey youth club NJSA 04. In 2008, he coached the NJSA 04 Gunners to the U-14 U.S. Youth Soccer national title, marking the first national championship for a New Jersey club in two decades.

SOCCER AMERICA: If you had a magic wand, how would you use it to improve youth soccer in America?

TAB RAMOS: Wow. I’d have to think about that …

One of the things that’s been most important for our club is, from the first moment, eliminating parents’ opinions from what we do.

The opinion of the parents of the players here is completely irrelevant to us. And that’s been a good formula for making this club a real soccer club.

SA: What would be an example of detrimental parent interference?

TAB RAMOS: There are a thousand things. But I’ll start with an example of a parent who had the right attitude.

On our U-16 [U.S. Soccer Development] Academy team we have a great player who starts all the games. He’s been at our club for four or five years and just about every year previously he’s been a substitute. He did not start. He happened to be on the team that won the national championship, but he didn’t start.

It’s the perfect case of a parent who figured it out the right way. This boy’s father is a soccer guy. He kept his son at the club even though he wasn’t starting. He could have moved him somewhere else and started for another team. He stayed here while he was a substitute -- trying hard all these years. Now he’s 16 -- in the year that it really matters for him -- and starts every game.

I think that’s the right formula.

SA: And the wrong parental approach …

TAB RAMOS: For most other cases, parents will be looking only at two things.

No. 1. Whether your team is winning the games. So if they’re not winning the games, then obviously it’s time for Johnny to move somewhere else -- to the team that just beat us.

No. 2. The huge effect that the parents have on the kids when they drive home. When the parents get in the two front seats of the van and little Johnny’s is in the back. And he hears the parents say, “Well, the coach this … the coach that … He only gave him five minutes. … And I was timing the first half, and he only put him in this position. …”

All that negative talk instead of saying, “You know, that’s great, you only played five minutes but you tried as hard as you can. Maybe if you keep trying hard, the next time you’re going to play more and impress the coach.”

I think parents are very protective of their kids and obviously everyone should be, but when it comes to sports, I have yet to meet a coach who doesn’t want to play a good player a lot of the time. So chances are if your son is not playing a lot, he doesn’t deserve to play at this point.

SA: Since you started the club eight years ago, what have you discovered is a good strategy to providing the children with optimal coaching?

TAB RAMOS: At our club now, we believe the best thing is have people who are experts at certain age groups.

We keep our staff at the same age groups year-to-year, so the kids go through coaches like they go to school. First grade you have Mrs. Whatever, second grade you have Mr. Something Else.

We’ve been able in less than eight years to identify coaches that we have fit into certain age groups better than others. They teach the game better, and we’ve kept them in those age groups.

SOCCER AMERICA: You were perhaps the first big teenage star in American soccer, playing in the U-20 World Cup in 1983 at age 15. Looking back, how different is youth soccer now in the USA?

TAB RAMOS: It’s so much different and so much better. It’s more organized. There are more people involved in soccer who know what they’re doing and leading the way in many good clubs.

Before, you rarely had someone who knew about soccer unless it was a parent of someone.

Not to say there aren’t a lot of things wrong with youth soccer, but we’ve come a long way since when I grew up playing.

Soccer has become a huge sport and kids have great choices and opportunities to play for some great clubs who are going to give them an opportunity to advance.

SA: So you’ve seen significant improvements in youth coaching?

TAB RAMOS: I think it’s improved tremendously. There are so many people who have played the game. So many people who have taken their coaching licenses, learning the game, studying the game.

There’s so much soccer available on TV now, which is huge for the development of the kids as well. Watching the Premier League or La Liga, whatever, there’s always soccer on TV. There’s exciting soccer with good players.

All those things have had a huge effect.

SA: For sure a very positive of recent years is that Barcelona, which plays entertaining and successful soccer, is being watched by American coaches …

TAB RAMOS: The effect that Barcelona has had on world soccer and will have over the next decade is huge. We were just getting to the point of where it’s almost like to step on the field you needed to be 6-foot-2, and that was all that mattered.

SA: And Barcelona’s Lionel Messi, Andres Iniesta and Xavi all stand barely 5-foot-7 tall and finished top three in the 2010 world player of the year award …

TAB RAMOS: Being a 5-foot-7 guy, I can tell you that if I have a 5-foot-7 guy and a 6-foot-2 guy who play exactly the same, I’ll take the 6-foot-2 guy. But now I know that it’s OK for me to take the 5-foot-7 guy who can play better than the 6-foot-2 guy.

Not only do I know that, but everybody knows that. That you’d rather have the guys who can play first, and size is second. And I think Barcelona has had that effect on world soccer.

SA: So do you think this has an effect on American youth soccer where an emphasis on results so often leads to a playing style based on a big, strong kid in the back booting the ball up to the big, strong kid upfront?

TAB RAMOS: At the youth game it continues to happen. I can tell you at the Development Academy level you rarely find teams who don’t want to play. They all want to play. They want to go forward. Some teams obviously have better players than others, but for the most part it’s really been a good experience.

We had a webinar the other day that [U.S. Soccer Youth Technical Director] Claudio Reyna ran and it was basically more about playing offensive soccer and getting the outside backs coming out of the back and becoming part of the offense, and that kind of thing.

I think it’s the beginning of a lot of changes and a lot of exciting stuff that’s going to be happening down the road and I think we’re going to be developing a lot better players.

SA: One of the side effects of youth soccer’s incredible growth is the emergence of competing organizations. What are the pros and cons of that?

TAB RAMOS: It’s difficult because now we’re talking about business, companies trying to make money from it.

I think personally there’s too many competitions, but the fact that U.S. Soccer has its own league [Development Academy] makes it simpler at least at the older age groups.

Players are starting to figure out the Academy is the place to be.

The rest are always going to have as many leagues as possible. Businesses are always going to be out there trying to make money, create competition and trying to sign up teams.

SA: It seems that the USA is producing more “good” players than ever. That our role players are better than a couple of decades ago, but the country doesn’t produce truly exceptional players at the increased rate we would expect …

TAV RAMOS: I think exceptional players are not developed. I think they’re born.

An example: At my club, players who’ve been training the same way for six or seven years, who've been taught the same things for six or seven years. Who have had every single aspect of their game put in front of them the exact way -- and they’re completely different players.

Some can make perfect passes, an excellent through ball. Some can’t complete three passes in a row to a teammate 10 yards away.

How do you explain that? I think some people just have god-given talent and some don't.

I suggest all read the comments following this article.

He makes some great points. but his fatal flaw is that he makes the base assumption that all coaches are good, knowledgable and have the best interest of the kids and soccer in mind. Unfortunately that is not the case. Just like is school, parents need to be active in what's going on with their kid. Politics, berating your kid, trying to control things, should go away. But you should be on board everything that is being done to your kid. You don't have to agree but you should understand Why things are the way they are. In the end, you are responsible for the well being of your kid not the coach or some club.

There's a lot wrong with what he was saying and there are some things he said that we right but either way this looks bad. read the comments others have already left:
http://www.socceramerica.com/article/41506/tab-ramos-keep-the-parents-at-bay.html

I won't go into it but this disappoints me greatly.

frankly, part of this is nonsense. pay us thousands of dollars, spend ridiculous amounts of time ferrying kids, weekends, let him play 5 minutes for years. absurd

I am in the wrong line of work. Imagine a business where you can take $3000 a year from your customer, and then right after you get the money they aren't customers anymore, they become parents.


Now I am against over involvment from parents as well but I think there is a happy medium that must be acheived.

I am sure he will feel the same way when it comes time for him to have kids. Shutup, payup, sit the bench and be happy about it until we decide you are good enough to play. After those run out, we will play you cause all the stars leave to go somewhere else. Sure, sign me up.

Like one of the prev posts so eloquently points out, it is not that simple. I have never seen a coach interviewed who admits that they have no idea what they are doing and that they get it wrong most of the time. If they didnt, they would be coaching in Europe and making big dough.

txsnowman wrote:There's a lot wrong with what he was saying and there are some things he said that we right but either way this looks bad. read the comments others have already left:
http://www.socceramerica.com/article/41506/tab-ramos-keep-the-parents-at-bay.html

I won't go into it but this disappoints me greatly.

There are a lot of good comments over there. Frankly, I'm kind of tired of paid coaches talking about parents being enemy #1. The parents pay the bill (usually), and it is the parents' kid. If a coach doesn't want to hear anything from parents, then he ought to consider a different profession. Too many coaches just don't want to be bothered with having to explain what they are doing, or why parents aren't seeing any progress with the team or the individual kid etc.

I think the biggest problem is lack of communication, the coach and club want the money, they say and do what they want, your BB or DD, who maybe a top player on the team, but riding the bench because he or she is not in the click or for whatever reason sits and watches or plays 5 minutes. Now your pissed, or I would be, and your suppose to say "go little johnny, that 5 minutes was great", okay I get supporting your child not a prob, but if I have issue with a coach,then I should be able to address such direct, we pay him. To prevent a lot of issues wouldn't be nice for the coach to come to the parents after the game, after he/she has spoken with the players and make a little speech, allow questions, etc. To me this would put out alot of sparks that could become forrest fires. I know a coach who will not take calls from parents, everything has to go through the team manager, that is absurd, the manager, a volunteer postion taking all the heat, while the paid prophet avoids contact. The problem is that the coach forgets that he not only works for the club but for those who sport the bill, and that communication is key. By the way if little johnny is only good enough to play 5 minutes, maybe he is at the wrong level or his talents are being overlooked by the coach. I used to put coaches on a pedal stool, now I realized that many are bafoons. I think the quality of the coach matters as well also, if you have a coach you respect, then your more prone to sit back, shut up, and let nature take its course.

"I know a coach who will not take calls from parents, everything has to go through the team manager, that is absurd, the manager, a volunteer postion taking all the heat, while the paid prophet avoids contact"

That's rich, would you hire a tennis pro to teach you tennis, pay 3k and have him tell you to leave messages at the front desk about your game? laughable, these people are kid's coaches and in this economy lucky to find parents to shell out that money, i would fire that coach in a heartbeat

Maybe there should be an uprise and protest to over throw the dictatorship

I know Tab from having played with and against him over the years and I agree with mostly what he says here until the end. I don't think that players are born exceptional, and there are plenty of books out there to back me up here. If you haven't already, you should check out the Talent Code or Talent is Overrated. In a nutshell, it takes 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to reach a level of mastery like a professional. And I'm sure Tab can attest that he put his time in practicing in a structured environment as well as on his own. But I think his last comments need revision.

In regards to parents being enemy #1, I think that's the sign of an inexperienced coach that hasn't done a good enough job of communicating expectations.

Just my thoughts...