ARE YOU a good sports parent...?

by b0013 9/11/2009, 11:21 am

See complete document/publishing here: http://youthsportscoalition.com/BuildingAllStarKids.pdf
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ARE YOU A GOOD SPORTS PARENT..?

Without any other guidance, we handle our kid’s sports activities the same way our parents did or the way we see other parents do. Most times, we get it wrong. With over 70% of kids quitting organized sports by age 13, our sports parenting skills are not something we often brag about. But, maybe we are lucky that almost 30% keep playing.

Being a good sports parent is not a natural skill. In fact, being a good sports parent often conflicts with natural parenting instincts such as protecting, educating and supervising. Standing on the sidelines, we are forced to resist the urges to help and must watch our kids learn to act independently and become the adults we wish them to be.

Being a good sports parent is hard! How do you know if you are a good sports parent? One simple test is if your kids are eager to go to practices and love the game. Although this sounds like a test that requires little parent support, it is a test that actually requires a great deal of parent involvement. A child’s development is never a straight path of constant improvement. At various times, kids will develop quickly, slowly, not at all or even regress. Sometimes, kids will believe they are the best player on the team and at other times the worst player. Parents need to be there to help kids understand this process which is further complicated by growth spurts and hormonal changes. As in everyday life, kids in sports need positive parental education, guidance and role models.

Kids are always their own worst critics. They are naturally self-critical, self-aware and self-conscious. Parents don’t help by being more critical or comparing their child’s activities with those of their teammates. Criticism is not education. Education is patient, encouraging, consistent, nurturing and repetitive. Education is constantly tested, not to demean skills, but to focus efforts on building skills.

Helping a child with sports is often an emotional and difficult path. If parents are too pushy, then kids feel too much pressure and are likely to burn out. If parents are too nurturing, kids fail to learn the lessons of self-motivation and hard work. Parental praise encourages further effort, but indiscriminate praise can create children who cannot objectively measure their own efforts. Finding the balance in these activities is necessary for youth sports success.

Not every child wants to play sports or will want to play sports over a long period of time. If kids decide to quit playing, parents should at least feel comfortable that their behavior did not influence that decision in a negative way. Parents can help overcome the effects of a negative coach; however, a coach cannot overcome the effects of a negative parent.

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