For Kids Only...

From Youth Soccer Insider:

This column is for the kids. Adults can stop reading now.

By Mike Woitalla

Dear Soccer-Playing Children of America,

The fall season is underway and I'm hoping you're having a great time. I'm hoping that you're playing soccer more than you have to stand in line and do drills.

I hope you're falling in love with the soccer ball and keep it with you as much as you can. Juggling it. Kicking it against a wall. Dribbling it around in your backyard.

And I especially hope that your parents aren't screaming at you during your soccer games.

I worry that you probably do get yelled at, because that's what I see at almost all the youth soccer games I go to. Hopefully you just ignore it. But I don't blame you if it bothers you.

No one enjoys getting screamed at. Sure, if you start crossing the street on a red light or throw a toy at your little sister or brother, your parents are justified in raising their voices. But they shouldn't scream at you while you're playing a game.

If they do, it doesn't mean they're bad people. But, unfortunately, sports does something to adults that makes them behave in ways they usually wouldn't.

You may have noticed this if you've watched sports on TV. A coach, for example, dresses up in a fancy suit and throws tantrums like a 3-year-old.

Get adults around sports and all of a sudden they forget the same manners they try to teach you. In a way, sports is like driving. A grown-up gets behind the wheel and all of a sudden forgets you're not supposed to pick your nose in public.

And when grown-ups go watch their children play soccer, they, for some reason, think it's OK to scream like maniacs. Perhaps they don't realize what they're doing. Like the nose-pickers on the freeway who think they've suddenly gone invisible.

I hope you're able to block out all the sideline noise. But maybe you do hear their shouts. Telling you when to shoot the ball, when to pass it. Ignore all that!

You need to dribble the ball. Try to dribble past players. If you're dribbling too much, your teammates will let you know. And they'll help you make the decision of when to pass and when to dribble.

You decide when to shoot. When you're dribbling toward the goal and the goalkeeper is 20 yards away, and the adults are screaming at you to shoot, don't pay attention. Because if you get closer to the goal, it will be harder for the goalkeeper to stop your shot.

One of the really cool things about my job is that I get to interview the best coaches in America. And you know what the national team coaches tell me? They say young players are far more likely to become great players if they're allowed to make their own decisions when they play soccer.

They say that coaches should coach at practice, and when it's game time, it's time for the children to figure things out on their own. It's like at school. The teachers help you learn. Your parents may help you with homework. But when you get a test, you're on your own.

That's just an analogy. I'm not saying soccer is school! Soccer is your playtime.

I hope you have lots of playtime, on the soccer field and elsewhere. But I bet that you don't have as much time playing without adults around as we did when we were children.

When we were kids we had summer days when we would leave the house in the morning, be only with other children all day, then see our parents when we got back in the late afternoon.

Things have changed. The reasons adults are much more involved in your activities than they were when they were children are complicated, and a result of your parents' good intentions.

But sometimes we adults forget how important it is for you to play without us interfering. We love watching you play, especially on the soccer field, because it is such a wonderful sport. But we need to be reminded that it's your playtime.

You should decide. Ignore the shouts if you can. But don't be afraid to say, "I'm trying my best. Please, don't scream at me."

(Mike Woitalla, the executive editor of Soccer America, coaches youth soccer for Bay Oaks/East Bay United SC in Oakland, Calif. He is the co-author, with Tim Mulqueen, of The Complete Soccer Goalkeeper, and More Than Goals with Claudio Reyna. Woitalla's youth soccer articles are archived at YouthSoccerFun.com.)

I hope all these articles start to sink in and we see positive attitudes on the sidelines. I do appreciate all the postings and hope they dont become numb to some of us.

Lets hope for the best

Just wondering if youth soccer is that much different than other youth sports and if it is a culture thing. We are so deeply involved with kids' sports activities that screaming adults on the sideline are generally accepted and just part of the youth sport scene?

NO, it's not different from other youth sports. In fact, it's better than some of the others! My theory is that soccer got the rep and added some parental rules (you can be kicked off the sidelines) that other sports haven't done yet.

About 8 years ago my son played some select B-ball. Those parents are insane and out of control. There would be parent altercations and incidents at every tournament. What was even crazier was organizers and refs had a " oh, that is normal" attitude. Made it crystal clear how and why some of the top players quickly end up in big trouble at the college level. They are given star treatment all through their youth careers.

man.....I get what he is trying to say....but wow, I think this article is more of an indictment on the "sisification" of today's youth and the P.C. environment your supposed to live in.

I will always loudly advocate for my 6 year old to pass when it is appropriate and to shoot when it is appropriate. Why? Because he needs to have balance with having fun and being silly with the ball versus staying on task, which is in fact a game of soccer.

I will also loudly advocate for Cowboys O-line to "block somebody", Romo to "stop throwing INT's", Holland to "throw strikes"...

...the flip side of the argument is the coach that sits on the bench with his legs crossed, not saying a word while his team is getting peppered......how 'bout you get up and help the boys solve the problem? Surely these great coaches have a tip or two that they can lend to the boys.

I think there is a difference in negative yelling and loudly advocating for something (i.e. a timely pass or a good shot)

Feel Free to get excited about your child and be a fan....just be a positive one!

I see that as the issue here. As a parent are you a positive constructive fan being excited and encouraging for your child/team or are you a negative destructive fan being excited and discouraging for your child/team? I see too often at games the loudest parents being negative - negative towards the refs, negative towards the other team/players and negative to their own child/team. The negative attitude seems to stem from a psychological imbalance/issue that I am not properly qualified to assess (Napoleon Complex maybe?). Games would be much more fun for everyone if parents would keep things positive. A couple years ago I saw a match where parents from one team introduced themselves to the parents of the other team prior to the match. Result? What do you think happened?

[quote="Se La Perdio"]I see that as the issue here.  As a parent are you a positive constructive fan being excited and encouraging for your child/team or are you a negative destructive fan being excited and discouraging for your child/team?  I see too often at games the loudest parents being negative - negative towards the refs, negative towards the other team/players and negative to their own child/team.  The negative attitude seems to stem from a psychological imbalance/issue that I am not properly qualified to assess (Napoleon Complex maybe?).  Games would be much more fun for everyone if parents would keep things positive.  A couple years ago I saw a match where parents from one team introduced themselves to the parents of the other team prior to the match.  Result?  What do you think happened?  [/quote]

Wife swap?

lol

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But yes no screamming in the field, it helps little as the kids are not in the YMCA and no more about soccer than I do. Do the coaching on a one on one practice with your kid during the week and see the extra work pay off during the game.

Thanks for the post! I see myself be one of those parents. Its an eye opener to be honest and the article is correct. I will try to refrain from constantly trying to tell them what to do on the field. Although I only tell my kid what to do and have never got in any confrontations during a game. I will have to admit that some parents at Select soccer take the thing overboard as I've observed more and more.

Its a good reminder, especially when most of the time, the kids dont hear what we are trying to tell them to do anyways... Kudos...

Reread the letter and it is right on. NTX soccer kids, please take the advice and ignore your screaming parents and even your screaming coaches on the side lines.

There is a big difference between youth soccer and other 'main stream' youth sports. In main stream sports like pointy ball, or throw balls or basketball, the US of A is at or near the top of the world. Youth coaches and majority of the parents have a lot of knowledge about these sports either having played at high school or watched a lot of high level games on TV. Youth soccer, especially after our pay to play business flourished, has outgrown our soccer culture and the coaching capacity. The end result is that some youth coaches are little more than dilettantes surrounding themselves with sycophants. Many youth coaches and parents don't even follow the game or study the game. How are they gonna help little Johnny by screaming non-specific instructions like play hard and win the damn ball! The least the parents can do to influence the culture is to follow the advice and not to make decisions for our kids.