What to look for in choosing a coach and a team

As every parent I am evaluating how the first season in select soccer went for my child. I am looking at how he has progressed (or not) over the past year. How the coach has influenced his play and how the team has progressed. I stumbled on this article and tried to answer some of these questions as truthfully as possible for my child. Take a look at see if your BB is in the best environment for him to succeed. I think my assessment of my BB is fairly accurate but I also need to have more patience to let him develop. In addition, I feel that a coach should not only be a teacher of soccer but a role model of life. How does your coach and team rate? http://www.socceramerica.com/article/41382/how-to-navigate-your-childs-path.html

frequent flyer wrote:As every parent I am evaluating how the first season in select soccer went for my child.  I am looking at how he has progressed (or not) over the past year. How the coach has influenced his play and how the team has progressed.  I stumbled on this article and tried to answer some of these questions as truthfully as possible for my child.  Take a look at see if your BB is in the best environment for him to succeed. I think my assessment of my BB is fairly accurate but I also need to have more patience to let him develop.  In addition, I feel that a coach should not only be a teacher of soccer but a role model of life.  How does your coach and team rate?   http://www.socceramerica.com/article/41382/how-to-navigate-your-childs-path.html

I think it's short and it sums it all up.

Marvelousmar wrote:

frequent flyer wrote:As every parent I am evaluating how the first season in select soccer went for my child.  I am looking at how he has progressed (or not) over the past year. How the coach has influenced his play and how the team has progressed.  I stumbled on this article and tried to answer some of these questions as truthfully as possible for my child.  Take a look at see if your BB is in the best environment for him to succeed. I think my assessment of my BB is fairly accurate but I also need to have more patience to let him develop.  In addition, I feel that a coach should not only be a teacher of soccer but a role model of life.  How does your coach and team rate?   http://www.socceramerica.com/article/41382/how-to-navigate-your-childs-path.html

I think it's short and it sums it all up.  

For what I realize, Most of them  have no interest of being role model of life.

worldcup2014 wrote:

Marvelousmar wrote:

frequent flyer wrote:As every parent I am evaluating how the first season in select soccer went for my child.  I am looking at how he has progressed (or not) over the past year. How the coach has influenced his play and how the team has progressed.  I stumbled on this article and tried to answer some of these questions as truthfully as possible for my child.  Take a look at see if your BB is in the best environment for him to succeed. I think my assessment of my BB is fairly accurate but I also need to have more patience to let him develop.  In addition, I feel that a coach should not only be a teacher of soccer but a role model of life.  How does your coach and team rate?   http://www.socceramerica.com/article/41382/how-to-navigate-your-childs-path.html

I think it's short and it sums it all up.  

For what I realize, Most of them  have no interest of being role model of life.

Probably my main reason for getting into coaching. I take that life lesson teacher part extremly seriously.

It's a good article with a lot of good questions to be answered. I personally think the most important question they've listed is, "Did your child enjoy the session, and does he or she want to go back?"

I think that's the most important because, ultimately, it doesn't matter how skilled your kid is if he's not enjoying it.

Dad #1: "My son was recently ranked as the most-skilled soccer player in the world."
Dad #2: "REALLY??? WOW!!! Where does he play?"
Dad #1: "He doesn't play anymore. He burned out badly when it stopped being fun. He stopped enjoying it a long while ago. We're really hoping he get backs into it but for now he wants a break."

frequent flyer wrote: I feel that a coach should not only be a teacher of soccer but a role model of life.

I like what you are trying to convey but that last statement is a recipe for disaster and I would suggest that you should be BB's role model instead of a coach who needs to develop his team and be objective about each player.

I prefer a coach who holds every player accountable and isn't afraid to upset the applecart. I would never want my BB's coach to have a personal relationship with my BB and I think that coaching is a job just like any other teaching job and I wouldn't want a teacher as BB's role model either.

Competitive football should make a BB tougher, stronger, and more assertive because it promotes decision making in the face of a challenging opponent.

All the other personal, touchy-feely stuff, is unnecessary and is usually the hallmark of a parent/player combination that is trying to get on the coaches "Good Side".

Some parents even believe that not making waves can get BB more playing time or inclusion on a team that is too advanced for BB's current skill level and they go to great lengths to tell us how wonderful a coach is until they feel that the coach betrayed them and then it's full throttle against the STUPID COACH or the DUMB COACH or the MEAN COACH who is apparently now cast as a moron and is berated publicly.

The best coaches can make bad teams better, good teams better, and great teams better, but not Always.

PremierLeagueFan wrote:

frequent flyer wrote: I feel that a coach should not only be a teacher of soccer but a role model of life.

I like what you are trying to convey but that last statement is a recipe for disaster and I would suggest that you should be BB's role model instead of a coach who needs to develop his team and be objective about each player.

I prefer a coach who holds every player accountable and isn't afraid to upset the applecart. I would never want my BB's coach to have a personal relationship with my BB and I think that coaching is a job just like any other teaching job and I wouldn't want a teacher as BB's role model either.

Competitive football should make a BB tougher, stronger, and more assertive because it promotes decision making in the face of a challenging opponent.

All the other personal, touchy-feely stuff, is unnecessary and is usually the hallmark of a parent/player combination that is trying to get on the coaches "Good Side".

Some parents even believe that not making waves can get BB more playing time or inclusion on a team that is too advanced for BB's current skill level and they go to great lengths to tell us how wonderful a coach is until they feel that the coach betrayed them and then it's full throttle against the STUPID COACH or the DUMB COACH or the MEAN COACH who is apparently now cast as a moron and is berated publicly.

The best coaches can make bad teams better, good teams better, and great teams better, but not Always.

You are kidding right? You don't want teachers or coaches as role models for your 10-11 year old? What coach does your BB play for? Sounds like a great environment.
Read this article. http://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/coaching/wooden-role-model.html
I would rather my kid be on a team where his coach is respected by the players, parents and peers than some Egocentric coach that only cares about his craft and the win especially for the ages of U7-U14.
Many of the successful coaches are those that have relationships with their players, create synergy within the team and uphold integrity and values and yes they win.

PremierLeagueFan wrote:

frequent flyer wrote: I feel that a coach should not only be a teacher of soccer but a role model of life.

I like what you are trying to convey but that last statement is a recipe for disaster and I would suggest that you should be BB's role model instead of a coach who needs to develop his team and be objective about each player.

I prefer a coach who holds every player accountable and isn't afraid to upset the applecart. I would never want my BB's coach to have a personal relationship with my BB and I think that coaching is a job just like any other teaching job and I wouldn't want a teacher as BB's role model either.

Competitive football should make a BB tougher, stronger, and more assertive because it promotes decision making in the face of a challenging opponent.

All the other personal, touchy-feely stuff, is unnecessary and is usually the hallmark of a parent/player combination that is trying to get on the coaches "Good Side".

Some parents even believe that not making waves can get BB more playing time or inclusion on a team that is too advanced for BB's current skill level and they go to great lengths to tell us how wonderful a coach is until they feel that the coach betrayed them and then it's full throttle against the STUPID COACH or the DUMB COACH or the MEAN COACH who is apparently now cast as a moron and is berated publicly.

The best coaches can make bad teams better, good teams better, and great teams better, but not Always.

You are kidding right? You don't want teachers or coaches as role models for your 10-11 year old? What coach does your BB play for? Sounds like a great environment.
Read this article. http://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/coaching/wooden-role-model.html
I would rather my kid be on a team where his coach is respected by the players, parents and peers than some Egocentric coach that only cares about his craft and the win especially for the ages of U7-U14.
Many of the successful coaches are those that have relationships with their players, create synergy within the team and uphold integrity and values and yes they win.

Coaches as role models for life? That's funny. I know a coach or two that sends bible verses to parents and players, then cuss up a storm on the sideline while brow beating the kids. For sure, coaches are role models!

We should expect our coaches to teach the game to our kids. Better yet, we should expect the clubs to have a focused agenda that every team follows. Right now, we wind up with a hodge podge of playing styles that don't transition smoothly from young Academy to Select, then PA to DA. Every coach runs his own empire without regard to what follows next. That is a major problem in NTX.

SOCCERJUNKIE: "You are kidding right?  You don't want teachers or coaches as role models for your 10-11 year old?  What coach does your BB play for?  Sounds like a great environment."

My Response:
I am a strong minded parent that prefers to raise his BB in a manner that I see fit and I see sports as an outlet and not a life path and I certainly wouldn't decide the fate of my BB on a coach or teacher, but you are certainly welcome to abdicate that responsibility if you are so inclined.

There is obviously a disconnect when stating the obvious is tantamount to treason in the football community.

soccerjunkie wrote:

PremierLeagueFan wrote:

frequent flyer wrote: I feel that a coach should not only be a teacher of soccer but a role model of life.

I like what you are trying to convey but that last statement is a recipe for disaster and I would suggest that you should be BB's role model instead of a coach who needs to develop his team and be objective about each player.

I prefer a coach who holds every player accountable and isn't afraid to upset the applecart. I would never want my BB's coach to have a personal relationship with my BB and I think that coaching is a job just like any other teaching job and I wouldn't want a teacher as BB's role model either.

Competitive football should make a BB tougher, stronger, and more assertive because it promotes decision making in the face of a challenging opponent.

All the other personal, touchy-feely stuff, is unnecessary and is usually the hallmark of a parent/player combination that is trying to get on the coaches "Good Side".

Some parents even believe that not making waves can get BB more playing time or inclusion on a team that is too advanced for BB's current skill level and they go to great lengths to tell us how wonderful a coach is until they feel that the coach betrayed them and then it's full throttle against the STUPID COACH or the DUMB COACH or the MEAN COACH who is apparently now cast as a moron and is berated publicly.

The best coaches can make bad teams better, good teams better, and great teams better, but not Always.

You are kidding right?  You don't want teachers or coaches as role models for your 10-11 year old?  What coach does your BB play for?  Sounds like a great environment.  
Read this article.  http://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/coaching/wooden-role-model.html  
I would rather my kid be on a team where his coach is respected by the players, parents and peers than some Egocentric coach that only cares about his craft and the win especially for the ages of U7-U14.
Many of the successful coaches are those that have relationships with their players,  create synergy within the team and uphold integrity and values and yes they win.

Nicely said.

PremierLeagueFan wrote:I am a strong minded parent that prefers to raise his BB in a manner that I see fit and I see sports as an outlet and not a life path and I certainly wouldn't decide the fate of my BB on a coach or teacher, but you are certainly welcome to abdicate that responsibility if you are so inclined.

There is obviously a disconnect when stating the obvious is tantamount to treason in the football community.

Et, tu, brute

Response to Finish1:
Ego non me traditurus est

Response to Soccerjunkie:
Fair enough!  My opinion is no better than another it is just different and based on my belief that I alone am responsible for my BB,s future.

I keep it pretty simple now after going through the process a few times. First, does my son respond to the coach? Different strokes for different folks... don't pick a coach because someone says he's awesome. This pretty much takes care of if your son is having fun, if they are growing, etc. Second, does the team have the same level of commitment as your family? Easy enough... you don't want to be the only one going or not going to skills training, camps, pickups. It leads to animosity. Third, are the parents at the same level of crazy that you are? If you're a screamer on the sidelines, find a team with like minded individuals. If you like it quiet and cheerful, don't join a team with crazy parents.

There you go...

In looking for a team I first look at standings to see who is the best. Then I do a background check on the coach to see if I can bribe him/her with goods or services to get my kid on the team/field. Then without attending any trainings I like to just commit to that team because I believe the coach will make my little tommy a star in the 2- 1 hr training sessions a week. This allows me to brag to my one friend who works for me that my kid is a superstar, and will definitely be the next messi. The Noob method has always worked in the past, and with all the TOP notch coaches here in NTX, I believe it is the best and most utilized method of team finding.

Interesting debate. I guess the question of how one defines Role Model is the first question. I don't believe anyone was stated to lose your responsibility of being the model for your child. Just understand that there is some sharing going on. What is true and this is stated by the top pros in their craft, The Jordans the Waltons, The Peles ect. Is that the X's and O's are secondary to developing the relationship that allows a player to want to play for that coach. Firstly the child must want to do it for themselves. However, if you took the time to read Walton's quote you would understand how if you’re spending time with someone and your young and impressionable that what that someone does both on and off the pitch has an effect on the child. My father used to say watch the company you keep. If kids have an influence on a child's behaviour it is for sure that a coach would have an influence as well. To say not is unrealistic.

Finding that balance between, teacher of the game and teacher of life is the tough part. The teacher and the student should not be friends but to say they shouldn't have a relationship is odd to me. When I was in grade school I remember the teachers that taught me the most and those were ones that we had relationships with, I still talk to college professors that had an impact on my life. Maybe I am missing something about the human desire to be accepted into a group and the need of humans to belong. Getting confused on how this can occur without some sense of a relationship. Again not best friends but there have to be a relationship for things to work.

Either that or we can always follow the way of Tpitty, that seems to be the way that it's done by 50-60% of the folks in North Texas, though I don't have any specific facts to support that number and it serves as an estimate. Anyway let me go back to seeing how I can distance myself as far away from the kids we coach as maybe that might be the better way to approach this coaching thing.

Let' me look about the word coach.

I got it "A large kind of carriage” in this example no emotion is needed because it is just something used to transport folks from one point to the next. I wouldn't expect that to have a relationship either.

You're entrusting the coach to have direct and unsupervised interaction with your child for 100+ hours during a year. "Being a good role model for kids" is a part of the job description. Most coaches know that when they choose this career. They know it's their responsibility to be an advocate for the kids they've been trusted with.

If a coach can't reasonably control his own behavior in front of the kids he manages then he shouldn't be a coach.

Agreed, Tpitty has the most common approach. LOL!

Also, parents remember to never let your guard down in terms of direct unsupervised interaction.

http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Former-Garland-Soccer-Coach-Sentenced-to-20-Years-for-Child-Sexual-Abuse-247257641.html

http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Frisco-Soccer-Coach-Arrested-on-5th-Sexual-Abuse-Charge-214804501.html

These 2 NTX arrests are within the last year. How many of these predators are unreported?

Those ype of folks are sick @#$#@$#@% that need to be removed from the general population in my opinion. If it's a coach, family member, friend or anything that segment of society doesn't belong as part of society in my opinion.

Let's keep the topic on the topic that was the title which was "What to look for in choosing a coach and a team?"

What to look for is very simple to determine for 10-11 yr old kids... Kids want to be accepted, and most will give you everything that they have in the tank if they truly believe in the group that they are a part of... It all comes down to respect in my opinion... Respect is the one thing in that you have EARN no matter who you are... Coaches and players will not be successful without mutual respect... I have been coaching for a pretty long time, and through the years I have noticed that players feed off of praise and tolerance for shortcomings... If the culture of the team is one where the parents only want to win and lose their cool when their team is losing, it is totally understandable that the kids struggle to perform under those circumstances... I'm sure it is not the exact same for all teams, but my experience suggest that a coach should have a good relationship with his/her players, and make them feel comfortable to try the techniques/skills that they are learning without fear of getting the finger pointed at them by members of their own team and fans... So often it is overlooked how young these kids are because they are so very well prepared, and play the game like they are much older... Our expectations are so very high, but we must understand that these developing players are several years from being able to adequately handle the pressure that some are exposed to from the time that they start playing... Burn out is very real, and is understandable in many cases... The question here is what kind of individual player do you have... I think the answer should be "I have a kid who loves to learn and play soccer"... If that is your answer, it is very simple to find a favorable environment to develop your kiddo... Kids just want to have fun and experience the the highs and lows with their friends... (yes, their teammates should be their friends) If a coach can make it fun and still achieve results, you have chosen well... I would use the practice sessions as a way to judge how your kiddo really feels about his team... If he loves practice, you're golden... If he dreads going to practice, maybe it is not a good fit... Good luck!